the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
i want to be your friend but i’m nervous and annoying: a novel by me
im no cactus expert, but i know a prick when i see one
HEY KAZUO WHAT AM I NOW?
NO I’M THE XBOX ONE!
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed